The government were faced with further scrutiny this week as it was revealed that Sir Fred Goodwin, recently retired CEO of RBS has been given the honour of having the country named after him. It is said that the United Kingdom will be renamed “Fredland” by late 2010.
The details of Goodwin’s early retirement agreement pension have already been subject to heavy criticism due to the 50 year CEO’s entitlement to a yearly pension of £693,000. It is expected therefore that further details emerging about rebranding of the nation to honour the 50 year old banker will be met with a similar lever of condemnation.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown insisted he knew nothing about the latest controversy, telling Sky News he only became aware of the agreement a few days ago.
“I am quite shocked about these new developments and will do everything I can to stop them taking place” he said before boarding a plane to Obamaland “The inconvenience of renaming the entire country to Fredland would be monstrous and would be an insult to our heritage and all those who have died to defend it”
However Sir Fred has no plans to reverse the contractual agreement and has promised full legal action to make sure it is honoured
"I am told that you indicated that you were aware of my entitlement and that no further gestures would be required," Sir Fred wrote in an open letter to the treasury. “I can think of no one more deserving of this prestigious honour than myself and will fight tooth and nail to ensure that we are all inhabitants of Fredland by next year
Shadow chancellor George Osbourne said that the situation regarding Goodwin’s pension agreement was “getting more and more ridiculous every day”
“This highlights once again the current government’s severe incompetence. Anyone can see that I am far more deserving of having the country named after me. I am deeply hurt by this” he said in an interview with Ian Wright
It is understood that borders between Wales and Scotland are to be scrapped, with all three nations to be united under Fred. The contract also reportedly gives Goodwin the right to ban any reference of cultural heritage from all three nations after the name change, with Sir Fred expressing in his aforementioned open letter that he intends to do just that.
“Seeing that Scotland and Wales have achieved nothing of note in their entire history, I have no problem in eliminating them along with England when my time comes. We shall all be Fredlish, and only I will be allowed money” he wrote in one of the more frightening passages of his letter.
Although the specifics of the agreement are still unclear, it remains unlikely that Goodwin will have the power to actually run the country of his name.
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